A Note from the Guidance Counselor:
What Can I Do as a Parent Following a Trauma?
* Listen actively to your children. It is often not as important what you say, but that you listen with empathy and patience.
* Help your children express all their emotions. It is helpful to ensure that children have time to paint, draw, or write about their friend.
* Validate your child's feelings. Help children understand that all feelings are acceptable. Children will probubly experience a myrid of feelings including anger, sadness, loneliness, and fear. Help your children understand that what they are experiencing is normal and to be expected.
* Establish a sense of safety and security. It is essential that children feel protected, safe, and secure. Children will need a lot of comforting and reassurance.
What Can I Say as a Parent Following a Trauma?
* Sometimes knowing exactly what to say is difficult.
* Always be honest with your children about what has happened and what may occur.
* Respect your children's fears. What is most helpful is an approach that says " I know you are feeling sad of ---- now."
* Make sure that your children know that you are aware of the seriousiness of the situation. Allow your children to cry.
* Try to recognize your children's feelings and put them into words.
Each day our students are faced with many choices, decisions, and pressures. The Guidance Office is here to support our students and parents. Please let me know how I can assist you to help with your child's academic or social needs. I am also the point of contact for setting up conferences between teachers and parents. Just give me a call so I can assist you in whatever way possible.
Parent's Self Test: Will Your Behavior Influence Your Child?
As a parent your habits and behaviors will be reflected in those of your child. Because of this, it is important that you be aware of your habits, especially regarding your use of alcohol and other prescription and nonprescription drugs. Go through the following questions from the Adult Children Education Foundation and answer them honestly. You may discover some surprising things about yourself.
· When you have friends over, do you immediately offer them a drink (an alcoholic beverage)?
· When you have a headache, so you immediately take a pill to get rid of the pain?
· When you are nervous or upset, is your immediate response to "take something" to get rid of the feeling?
· Have your children ever seen you drunk?
· In your home is it considered "manly" to be able to drink a lot? Is it "unladylike" to drink a lot?
· In your home do people joke about getting drunk and doing crazy things? (Boy, Fred got so drunk he....)
· Do you routinely use sleeping pills to fall asleep? Do you routinely use something to stay awake?
· Do your children ever hear their parents arguing about one or the other having had too much to drink?
· Do you smoke cigarettes? How many packs a day?
· Is drinking often a topic of conversation in your home?
· Does your group of friends share prescriptions or other medicines that have "worked" for them?
· Have you ever warned your children about smoking while you were smoking? How about drinking?
Stop Morning Madness
"I can't find my science book. Where are my shoes? I'm going to miss the bus!"
Sound familiar? Middle graders often look for things at the last minute. This can turn your household into a noisy mess on school mornings. Simple routines can help for middle grader begin each day calm and prepared.
The night before:
· Gather books, homework, gym clothes, and other school items in one place.
· Lay out clothes.
· Pack lunch.
· Set the alarm.
In the morning:
· Get dressed.
· Eat a healthy breakfast.
· Leave the house at a set time.
Helpful Hints for Parents
- Encourage good communication between you and your teen.
- Listen to your teen, and learn their needs and pressures.
- Know that part of a teen's security is knowing rules and limits to their behavior.
- Network with other parents in the community.
- Reward their good judgement in calling you to remove themselves from an undesirable situation.
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- Get to know your teen's friends and their parents.
- Rather than dropping your teen off, take the time to introduce yourself to his/her parents and to confirm an adult's presence and supervision
- Know where your teen is at all times, and set a curfew.
- Be awake and alert when your teen comes home at night. This is a good time for talking and observation.
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